She was much loved and is deeply missed by all her friends and family. shes now up there in heaven dancing on the tables having a massive party! please feel free to write a story about Sandy and if you have any pictures, feel free to add them to the gallery aswell
We're sorry, but the browser you appear to be using will not correctly display the tribute to Sandy Hazel Jefcoate.
We recommend viewing with the current free versions of Mozilla Firefox or Internet Explorer.
If you would like to continue to the full version of this tribute in this session, please click here.
For more help please see our community pages.
Sandra Hazel Frey was born in Albury on 18th December 1958, to Walter Frey, a builder who had emigrated to Tasmania from Germany in 1951, and his wife Erika who had followed him over two years later. Walter and Erika had come to Albury from Tasmania in 1955 so Walter could help rebuild Tallangatta when the height of the Hume Weir was increased. Sandy was the second of three children, her sister Margaret being 13 months older and Michael 4 years her junior.
Sandy always seemed to have a broken arm, burns on her fingers or bruises; partly because of her gregarious nature and partly due to day-dreaming. One day, walking home from school she was off with the fairies and walked smack into a tree causing a few cuts and bruises!!
The family was very close with lots of happy times and outings. Some of Sandy’s fondest memories of her childhood were ..
• Water-skiing on the Hume Weir in Summer with a crowd of friends.
• Walks in the hills, usually with one or more of the Bottrell’s in tow.
• Excursions to Mt Buffalo and elsewhere with Stark’s.
• BBQ’s at the Stark’s with numerous different meats and up to nine different salads.
• Caravan trips to Queensland, Narooma and Tasmania among others.
• Drives in the country with the inevitable ice cream somewhere along the way (Walter her father had a strong sweet tooth).
Sandy commenced a Receptionist course at Albury TAFE. This is where she met her lifelong friend Bernadette McDonald (now Bellchambers). Bern still wonders how they ever managed to learn anything because they were always laughing so much. Sandy must have learnt something in between the giggles because she topped the class.
Sandy commenced work at Murray River Country Council. This was a fun time for Sandy and all of us; especially our extra long lunches after the quarterly billing cycle had been completed. Sandy worked on the cashier’s desk and there was a particularly memorable customer who decided she would exact revenge on the MRCC by paying her bill in weekly instalments of $7, all in one and two cent pieces. This very quickly stopped as Sandy came up with a number of ways of playing the same game ….
• She would get part way through counting the money and pretend to lose count so she would have to start again.
• If another customer came in while Sandy was counting the money she would push the pile of coins aside, serve the next customer before recommencing the count at the beginning.
• If the phone rang … you guessed it, Sandy would once again stop counting to answer the phone and then of course have to start again.
It was hilarious and the troublesome customer soon decided it was not worth the agony each week.
Around this time, Sandy decided it was time to move out of home and rented a house. Things really heated up in Sandy’s social life when she decided to take up skydiving!! On her second jump she fractured a number of bones in one of her feet (no surprises there) which made her stop for a while before continuing to make 11 jumps in all. Here she made some more lifelong friends with a crazy gang led by Tony Edwards. It was not unusual to be at a party in David St with people jumping off the roof, practicing their landing techniques and rolls, or having competitions, also known as ‘butt butt’, to see which one could run toward the fence and head butt it the hardest. (Tarryn: Yes, my mum was a wild one!!!! maybe thats where i get it from hehehe)
On 25th November 1986, Sandy and Mick’s pride and joy, Tarryn Margaret Jefcoate, was born at Campbelltown Hospital. Despite having no hair, she was a cute baby and brought lots of joy to everyone. Tarryn was so small that Sandy sometimes dressed her up in cabbage patch doll clothes.
after moving back to albury from living in sydney, Sandy commenced work at the NRMA where she remained for a number of years before resigning to spend more time with Tarryn. Over the years, she had a number of part-time jobs, including 11 years at the Albury Laundromat.
On 4th May 2000, Sandy’s father Walter passed away. This hit Sandy very hard as he was very close to and dearly loved by all of his children.
Over the last few years Sandy suffered bad health, in particular chronic pancreatitis which was extremely painful and meant she often had to return to hospital. She also badly broke her leg in a fall. Despite this, in 2005, she decided to undertake forklift driver training. Of course, she was the only female in the class and copped lots of flack from the guys. This naturally only made her more determined to succeed and she topped the class with a score of 100% for her written and practical exam. We were all so proud of her.
Sandy and Tarryn lived in the house in Benn Cres with their three dogs Pippi, Bella and of course Lilly, her little angel, until her death and made lots of good friends there who were of great help and comfort to her. Her closest friends were Nicky and Ian Bennett whose 3 gorgeous kids adored Sandy, and Anne and Keith Appleton from next door.
Sandy’s last social outing was a family BBQ on Easter Monday at her brother Michael’s new house in Wirlinga. The whole family was there together with our beloved Uncle George and Aunty Betty Stark. It was a lovely peaceful day and will leave us all with fond memories of our last get together with Sandy.
Sandy’s last trip to hospital was on Sunday 15th April, accompanied in the ambulance by her sister Margaret. She was moved to the Critical Care Unit on Monday afternoon where the staff, in particular nurse John, did everything they could to keep her with us before she slipped away at approximately 12:30 that night with Tarryn and other family members by her side.
What Sandy loved … She loved her parents and visited or phoned her mother almost daily. She loved her nieces, Alicia and Kiera, and always gave them lollies when they came to visit. She loved to help others when she could. In the last weeks, she knitted jumpers for Aids babies in Africa and enlisted a number of her friends to assist in this endeavour. Despite the comments about spaghetti jaffles and brains, she loved to cook. Sandy was very accomplished in the kitchen and was famous for her berry chocolate meringue. She loved to shop. She loved to collect anything to do with pigs … miniatures, calendars, photos etc. But most of all she loved her daughter Tarryn. The two of them were inseparable and had lots of fun together – Tarryn often described her Mum as the crazy lady from the Vita-Weats ad. - excerpt from eulogy
Sandy is now at peace, free of all pain, and in a better place with her beloved father Walter, her dear friends Fronny and Andrea, and her brother-in-law Watto.
Sandy Jefcoate was born on December 18, 1958 in Albury.
Sandy passed away in Critical Care at Albury Base Hospital at 12:30 in the morning.
hi mum,
its almost six months. it feels so unreal. there are so many things i want to tell u. dad has to have a heart bypass. im going home soon. i hope u understand why i had to leave and have a break from everything at home. i wouldntv coped being at home straight away. i am scared to come back to albury, knowing u wont be waiting at the airport for me like last time. i hope u found Opa where u are, and that u are looking after eachother. i know u are where u wanted to be, where there isnt any pain, it just hurts not having u here with me. its my 21st soon, we were making so many plans. its going to be so hard. i hope u will be there in spirit, send me a sign on my birthday to let me know u are there, cos i need u to be there. i know what i want to do with my life now and thats working to help other people, im not sure what feild exactly but i know thats what i want to do. the bench is at the hospital now, im not sure i can go and see it just yet, but i will. i hope someone gets some comfort from it, and they remember u. the pain from that day still hasnt gone, we never got the goodbye we wanted. but maybe it wasnt goodbye, it was just a see u later. im starting to think of going home as being a new start, making a go of my life and such. im glad u and patsy had a chance to make a few things right before u left. and i hope u are a happy that im not fighting with patsy anymore, i think we've become closer after dads heart attack, that was scary, i thought i was going to lose dad aswell. sometimes i can feel ur presense, and when that song u liked comes on the radio i know its u letting me know u are here. i do feel some comfort from that. it brings back happy memories. im going to make an album when i get home, of u and me, a daughter and mum. i hope u help me pick out the pictures, i know u didnt like photos but when im sad sometimes they are all i have to remind me that life isnt supposed to be this hard. u know how iv always said i wanted a sister? chloe has been so nice, i know its not the sort of sister i hoped for, but i hope u see how nice she is and how we get along. i met someone over here, hes so nice, i can talk to him about anything and hes my best friend, he has been there for me through this whole thing, i love him so much. its going to break my heart going home. i wont be here for dads operation, it will be in january. but patsy promised she would ring and let me know whats happening. please watch over dad and make sure hes ok through the operation. when i get home u will finally be at rest, i found a place near opa, and ill have a spot there too so when i leave this earth ill be with u and opa. i cant wait to see bella and lilly, and give them huge hugs. i know lilly was ur little angel, and i think she still is, oma wants to look after her. i asked madge if i cant rent a room from her, that way i wont be too far from family. watch over oma, madge says shes worried about me and how im going to cope when i get home, i think she misses ur visits everyday, i think she is lonely. im going to live with her for a while when i get back, until i find a job and get a stable income. saphire will only be down the road, so i can visit her when i need a chat, that will be good. anne is doing ok, i got a letter from her, shes feeling a little lonely though. her sons will concider buying the house so she isnt alone, i think thats a good idea. its going to be so hard going home and u not being there, in ur room, or on ur chair. i know we wanted to move on, and i think thats what i have to do. christmas im still going to set the table and make mirengues like usual, i hope i make them as good as u did, ill try. we said this year we would go on a holiday, im thinking of still doing that, maybe go and visit kim and simon, they were so shocked when u left, ill ring her when i get home.
i love u so much and i miss u more than words can express, but i just have to keep going and make u proud of me. please help me get through next week, and help oma get through next week. until my next letter, i hope u keep watching over me and everyone. i love u mum
all my love today and always
Tazzy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
hi mum,
i miss u, sooooo much words cant even describe it. i was thinking about how everyday when i got home from school and i walked through the door, didnt matter what sort of day u were having u always hugged me and made me feel special as i got in the door. then we'd sit and watch the bold and the beautiful together. i always took those times for granted. this week has been tough. dad had a heart attack and hes been in hospital. it was so scary seeing another ambulance. and seeing dad like that. brought back memories of when i had to say goodbye to u. the hardest day of my life was letting u go. i keep thinking why does everyone else have their best friend and i dont? but i know u were in pain and u needed rest. it just all happened so quickly. bella and lilly are doing ok at omas, i cant wait to see those girls. give pippi a hug for me and i hope ur giving her lots of liver treats. our house is so empty now, it used to be so full of laughter and stuff and now its just a house. i dont want to get rid of ur things, ur shoes, ur clothes, even ur makeup in the cabnet hasnt hardly been touched since u left. life just isnt the same and its scary. i wish i could just snuggle up with u in ur bed like i used to do when i was sick or just scared. i heard our song the other day, i know i can get through this, but its just so hard. i have good friends, fantastic friends. but they just dont understand, and its not their fault, its just the way it is. but muchloved has helped so much, iv made new friends and they know what im talking about because kev and mandy and bron all lost their mums aswell. maybe u can send my love to their mums aswell, i know that they all miss them like i miss u. and i know in my heart ur not really gone and i just have to keep telling myself that. and ill put a smile on my face knowing ur at peace now and that u still love me and u havnt left me at all, because ur in everything i see, and everything i do and everything i hear especially music. i hope ur with opa and ur happy now. all my love today and always
Taz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
mummy, i miss u so much. my life isnt the same anymore. i feel like my purpose is gone. when im really down sometimes i pray to god to let me go with u, cos life seems too unbearable without u here. its so lonely here without my best friend. i love u and i miss u more than words can explain. i just want u back
all my love today and always
Taz xxxxxxxxxx
well its almost four months. i cant beleive it really. it still feels like yesterday that i was walking out that hospital door without my mum. i ahve to go home one day soon. and to tell the truth, im shit scared. whats it going to be like? no mum, an empty lifeless cold house. people say time to move on, but i dont want to, i want to be sitting in the loungerrom at home with our dogs and me and mum laughing at the tv. i feel so empty, and just so lonely. mum understood me so well. she was my best friend, and i took her for granted, and now shes gone. i cant beleive she left me here. i wish i could just run away from everything, life isnt how it should be and i dont have my mum. life just sucks at the moment.
when i had the chicken pox, mum had just got out of hospital (one of her many many trips to hospital) and the day she got home, i remember not being able to do much for her, as she was still sick. my mum cared for me that much that she sent me to bed and looked after me, bring my medication and drinks and food. een though she was sick she put my needs ahead of hers. now thats what you call a real mum! thankyou mum!
when im sick, and recovering, i always want a vegemite sandwich. ill never forget the way mum made them, and cut them into quarters. even when i was old enough to make my own!
another fond memory of my mum... im into hairdressing and i have loads of hair pins (bobby pins) and mum would often find one laying around the house somewhere and when i took my hair my hair out i used to leave them on the bathroom counter, so one day mum said to me 'Tarryn! for every bobby pin i find laying around you owe me a dollar!' and needless to say i owe her alot of money hehehe i always pick my bobby pins up now!
although we had a few close calls with some trees while i was in my first few driving lessons with mum, she still managed to be able to joke about it later. everytime i get behind the steering wheel i can still hear her in the passenger seat saying 'slow down tarryn' or the usual one 'foot off the accellorator before u put the clutch in!' i always laugh when i think of that. and then when mum drove the car, i used to tell her how to drive! those memories are some of the best times of my life, i found out alot about myself and alot about mum too, ill cherish those driving lessons always.we named the car the betty boop mobile because one day mum had the urge to put a betty boop sticker in the window.
ever since i was little, i always remember mum supporting me in whatever i wanted to do. if it was going to england, or if it was getting my eyebrow peirced or even getting a tattoo, she would always support me. but it wasnt without the motherly warning 'its your life, and its your body, if you want to get a tattoo then you have to live with it the rest of your life' she then proceeded to tell me that she'll help me pick out the design of the tattoo, or when i got my eyebrow ring, she would help me pick out the colour of the ring. i think she realised that i was becoming as crazy in my early years as she once was when she was my age, although i havnt followed in her footsteps totally, i havnt made a skydive yet!
Welcome to this site, i want this site to be about happy memories and goodtimes and sharing stories and love. a way to celebrate my mothers life and all she stood for, she really was the angel in my life, and i guess u can say she still is....
I started to build my tribute to Sandy Jefcoate today.
im just listenign to our song. it still makes me cry. and i still miss u more than anything. that wont change. i hope opa and aunty betty are looking after u. least betty can make u spetzle now hehehe the house got sold yesterday. i still cant beleive its not ours anymore. i can still hear the dogs barking when u pull in the driveway. the sound of the pantry door closing, its all still there. i want to move to newcastle, i need a new start, i need somewhere new, somewhere i can build my own memories. im so depressed here. i just wish u were here. i finished my course last week and all i could think about was i wish u were here to celebrate with me. like old times. and want to be able to sleep in ur bed when im upset over a boy, i really miss that. i want my old life back, i feel so cheated. i cant share things with u anymore, we cant go for drives and have lunch. it hurts so much. i need u so much. marg is doing her lifeline course. im so proud of her, shes helping other people in a dark place. lilly misses u, i see it everytime i look at her face, i give her lots of cuddles tho from u. when am i going to be happy again mum? at the moment it feels like never. please send those butterflies when u think i need them, i know theyr from u. i love u and miss u and im finding it hard lately, so please send those butterflies. big hugs for opa and betty. all my love today and always, Taz xxxxxxxxx